Funny Quotes

71. "In painting, you have unlimited power. You have the ability to move mountains. You can bend rivers. But when i get home the only thing i have power over is the garbage."

―Bob Ross See also Art, Celebrities.

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Funny Quotes

72. "If I was a sloth, I would invent a sloth-sized car pretty quickly."

Deep. See also Sloths.

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Funny Quotes

73. "Tu manges un grande sandwich."

―My Brother
French for "You are eating a big sandwich."
See also French, Sandwiches.

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Funny Quotes

74. “I asked god for a bike, but I know god doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

―Emo Philips
See also Religion.

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Funny Quotes

75. "I've got to make sure that Youtube comes down to tape this."

- Micheal Scott

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Funny Quotes

76. “Love is the horse. Magic is the donkey. Suffering is the mule.”

A classmate in my Humanities class during a discussion of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. See also Schools, Shakespeare.

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Funny Quotes

77. "Time wounds all heels."

Who else but Groucho Marx?

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Funny Quotes

78. "OMG, my neighbour is stalking me! I saw her Google my name on her laptop through my telescope!"

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Funny Quotes

79. "I like sleep. You're alive but unconscious."

Thank you, Rita Rudner! See also Sleep.

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Funny Quotes

80. "Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of my own actions."

A graduation quote from my yearbook.

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