Tim's Entries
Funny Nicknames
13. Guy About to Get Kicked in the Nuts
When some guy tries to get in my grill, maybe calling me a stupid name. This is what I call him. Quietly.
Funny People
14. Frightened, White, Middle-Class Old People
Bulletin: You're getting govt. health care now. Oh, and MedicAid. And disability benefits. All of it, every penny, financed by me. Money I could really use. Another thing, while ranting, fascist or communist? Make up your minds. See also Elderly.
Funny Things
15. Saw Paintings
Very big in Wisconsin. These are paintings, usually of nature scenes, done on the side of a hand saw in oil paint. See also Art, Wisconsin.
Funny Things
16. 1970's Metal Lunchboxes With a Glass-Lined Thermos
For children. Inside a metal lunch box. Didn't matter if it was Barbie, Hong Kong Fooey, or Hot Wheels; the Thermos bottle had a glass lining. The lining would last approximately two days, if it didn't in fact break on the way to school. I remember actually pursing my lips and actually drinking my milk through the glass. It took the lunchbox people around eight years or so figure out that it was a bad idea. See also 70's, Children, Schools.
Funny Things to Do
17. Getting a Red-hot Pot Seed Down Your Shirt
...and you can't get it out. So you jump up, slap and push on your chest and stomach, swear like a sailor, and then sort of finally lean forward and shake your shirt. Riotous! See also Drugs.
Funny T-Shirts
18. I'm on a Pussy Hunt!
Even today it shocks. Signature male white trash t-shirt/ballcap impression. Do they still sell these?
Funny Things
19. Columbus Day
First, he didn't discover shit. He did enslave, torture, and murder native Caribbeans to extinction. He was even up on charges for being too harsh, and for the Spanish, that's saying a lot. He bounced around, often getting lost, under constant threat of mutiny. Let's have a federal holiday! See also Holidays.
Funny People
20. The Guy Who Gave You Shit in High School
It is ten years later, and there he is as you roll up in your car- at the pay window of a fast food place. He sees you, you see him. He gives you your food, and your change, and who's laughing now, Champ?
