Funny Phrases

1601. Firstborn Unicorn, Hardcore Soft Porn

Lyric from Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers.

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Funny Insults

1602. Blokkeringshode

Norwegian for “blockhead.” See also Norwegian.

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Funny Insults

1603. Go Jump in a Lake

See also Old-Timey.

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Funny Advice

1604. If Someone Hurts Your Feelings, Tell Them to Hurt Their Own Feelings if They Want to Hurt Someone's Feelings

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Funny Advice

1605. Oil Floats on Water, So Cover Yourself in Oil, Wait for it to Rain, and Fly

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Funny Drinks

1606. Club Soda

Everyone who is a club member will like this drink. See also Soda.

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Funny Jobs

1607. The Little Cousin Player-Wither

You know, when you’re at a family gathering and you’re the one person who always has to play with your young old cousin. See also Family.

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Funny Questions

1608. If “guns don’t kill people, people kill people,” then does that mean toasters don’t toast toast, toast toasts toast?

See also Guns.

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Funny Names

1609. Garfield Arbuckle

Garfield’s full name. See also Cartoons, Cats, Comics.

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Funny Quotes

1610. “No.”

―Hamlet See also Shakespeare.

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