Funny Jobs

1651. Flashlight Holder

When your dad is working on something in the dark, and you have to stand behind him with the weapon of light.

Added by a Guest on December 14, 2020| 4 Comments | 81 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Observations

1652. Every time you paint your room, it gets smaller. But every time you paint your house, it gets bigger.

Added by a Guest on December 13, 2020| 3 Comments | 87 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Insults

1653. Last Time I Laughed at Your Jokes I Laughed So Hard That I Fell off My Dinosaur

See also Dinosaurs.

Added by a Guest on December 12, 2020| 7 Comments | 132 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Nicknames

1654. Rolf Gruber

Also known as the villainous young Nazi in The Sound of Music. Perfect nickname for a reactionary teen. See also Musicals.

Added by Brian on December 12, 2020| 1 Comment | 42 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Advice

1655. Count Your Eggs Before They Hatch

Otherwise they’re not eggs anymore.

Added by a Guest on December 10, 2020| 3 Comments | 57 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Diseases

1656. Paris Syndrome

When you have a breakdown because Paris is disappointing. See also French.

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Funny Sayings

1657. Here’s the thing about trailing off…

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Funny Names

1658. Lord Tweedmouth

Sir Dudely Majorbanks was the first Lord Tweedmouth of Scotland. He invented Golden Retrivers and owned a forest known as Gutchinshire. See also Dogs, History, Scottish.

Added by a Guest on December 9, 2020| 1 Comment | 10 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Quotes

1659. “The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

―Douglas Adams in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Added by a Guest on December 9, 2020| 2 Comments | 81 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Phrases

1660. Your Welcome Mat

There was a guy who gave a welcome mat to Matt and said “Your welcome mat.” Matt said “Thanks.” The guy then said, “You’re welcome, Matt.”

Added by a Guest on December 4, 2020| 7 Comments | 77 people like this You Like This | Unlike