Funny Quotes

1761. "I'm not a pee wizard. I can't predict pee."

Me, when my girlfriend complained that she needed to go to the bathroom right after I called her. See also Bathroom, Magic.

Added by a Guest on May 3, 2020| 1 Comment | 50 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

1762. All Poopoo Times Are Peepee Times but Not All Peepee Times Are Poopoo Times

See also Bathroom, Scatalogical.

Added by Anthony on May 3, 2020| 21 Comments | 66 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Insults

1763. You Played Me Like a Fiddle

No, fiddles are actually hard to play. I played you like the cheap kazoo you are.

Added by a Guest on May 2, 2020| 2 Comments | 108 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Euphemisms

1764. Cursed Ravioli

Also known as Smuckers Uncrustables.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 6 Comments | 31 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Observations

1765. The Average Number of Skeletons Inside the Human Body is Greater than One

It sounds creepy until you realize that the major contributor to that statistic is pregnancy.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 5 Comments | 57 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Observations

1766. “I will be contacting my lawyer” is the adult version of “I'm telling my mom.”

Makes you think of Trump, doesn’t it? See also Lawyers.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 7 Comments | 100 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

1767. In Germany they are stocking up for the lockdown with sausage and cheese.

That’s the Wurst Käse scenario. See also German.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 4 Comments | 41 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

1768. Lazy Fact #1737907364920226488360101763894038278

You were too lazy to read those numbers.

Added by a Guest on May 1, 2020| 19 Comments | 70 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Sayings

1769. You Can Teach a Man to Fish...

But you can't teach a fish to man. See also Fish.

Added by a Guest on April 30, 2020| 5 Comments | 48 people like this You Like This | Unlike

Funny Things to Do

1770. Hula-Hooping Without the Hula Hoop

Added by a Guest on April 30, 2020| 10 Comments | 75 people like this You Like This | Unlike