Funny Quotes

2131. “I asked god for a bike, but I know god doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

―Emo Philips
See also Religion.

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Funny Advice

2132. Never Call Spirits' Names Three Times

In animated cartoons, of course.

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Funny Movies

2133. The Horror Express

Another Peter Cushing/Christopher Lee blood-fest. Can't get enough people killed fast enough? Cram a very big cast onto a very fast/small train steaming across Siberia. Telly Savalas makes a great Cossack.

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Funny Observations

2134. When You Are Reading a Book, You're Really Just Staring at a Dead Tree and Hallucinating

Think about it.

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Funny Songs

2135. Tunnel Snakes Rule

Also known as the most ruthless song ever. See also Annoying.

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Funny Insults

2136. You're the Human Equivalent of a Band-aid in a Salad

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Funny Insults

2137. You Seem Like the Kind of Person Who Kisses With Their Eyes Open

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Funny Toys

2138. Random Outside Stuff

Grass, dirt, etc. For when your parents kick you outside. See also Parents.

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Funny Questions

2139. Is this the brake button?

My sister during her first time driving. See also Cars.

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Funny Sayings

2140. I Can't be Trusted, Trust Me

So can I be trusted or not?

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