All Entries
Funny Advice
5521. Keep the Space Heater Away from Standing Water While It is Operational
As in:
Do not precariously balance the space-heater on the edge of the bathtub while we soak in said tub stoned out of our minds, eating pizza, and talking about surviving hiding together in a portable toilet for extended periods of time with a pet goat.
I'm not ready to die by electric shock yet. I've seen those stickers on hairdryers yes siree! See also Dangerous, Electricity.
Funny Insults
5524. Sophist
A subtle yet derogatory term used by Quellcrist and the Hemptress to insult philosophy professors and law students, and anyone else who fancies themselves an adept at the art of rational and logically valid argument or thought but in reality cannot find their way out of a paper bag and whose very continued existence is a miracle considering their pathological mental vicissitude. See also Philosophy.
Funny Animals
5525. Hinny
The opposite of a mule; the offspring of a male horse and female donkey. See also Farming.
Funny Drinks
5528. Chock full o'Nuts Shop
For those with nut allergies, fear not. Despite its name, Chock full o'Nuts currently contains—and never did contain—a single nut. See also Coffee.
Funny Euphemisms
5529. Going to Part My Hair
My wife's euphemism for disappearing into the bathroom with a magazine. See also Bathroom, Hair, Scatological.
Funny Phrases
5530. Athletic Supporter
As in, "I don't play sports, but I am an athletic supporter." See also Sophomoric.